Because by the end of the letter, you’ll feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. And you can finally climb back down that ladder, my friend.
But first…let’s take a wander back down memory lane. When I was 15 years old I felt like a total failure at life. It didn’t matter how hard I tried or what I did, it felt like the world was against me.
It felt like I just didn’t fit in. With the cool kids. With the smart kids. With the adults or the adolescents.
As I got older I learned that there was a way I could band-aid my ever-present feeling of odd-ness.
And as much as it worked on the outside…it slowly tortured me on the inside.
My brilliant idea? To just stop caring.
Pretend it didn’t matter. And just push even harder to make things right.
Right with my family. Right with my friends. Right with my teachers.
Perfect. Polished. Right.
Doing everything that “he” wanted, “she” wanted, “they” wanted…with a big fat smile on my face, became my primary mission in life.
Even if it cost me everything.
I so badly just wanted to BE who I was. But over the years, I eventually forgot who she was.
The girl I was before everyone told me who to be.
Now. It didn’t mean that my life wasn’t wonderful…or that my family was terrible. In fact, everything looked pretty lovely on the outside.
But I had carefully planned it out that way.
If they didn’t know how much I was suffering, then I wouldn’t have to ask for help. And if I didn’t ask anyone for help…I wouldn’t inconvenience them with my existence.
Being myself became the scariest thing in the world.
So I just kept on climbing, further and further away from her.
Hoping that somewhere along the line someone would finally set me free.
But instead, I found myself punishing myself even more.
Treating my body like a prison and my mind like my enemy.
Convincing myself that I would never ever figure it out and that no one else could possibly understand.
I dreamed of a life where I could wake slowly and sip coffee with my love. Journalling over a nourishing breakfast. Doing a job that didn’t feel like work and living a fully creative, intuitive and authentic life. That allowed me to actually heal the world instead of just add to it’s suffering.
But year after year, nothing really changed.
My vision became cloudy and my dreams started to fade away.
Which is why I’m here to ask you a very sacred question before you take one more step up that ladder, away from yourself, my friend.
You can watch this week’s video below.
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ABOUT YOUR HOST
Amber Chalus, founder and creator of The Liberated Woman is a Free-Spirited Explorer, Coach, Yoga Teacher and Podcast Host. Her mission? To empower women to Escape the Ordinary, Discover Their Bliss & Find Freedom Within. She believes that every woman deserves to feel connected to her body, radiate with confidence and live the life of her dreams. Her current home is located in the wild heart of Canada with her charming British husband and adorable rescue pup, Indiana. Read her story here.
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